Friday, February 01, 2008

I Am Crippled and Bereft

Wednesday and Thursday, the sadists at D & D Sports Medicine ramped up my "therapy" program. They added 4 minutes on the accursed Elliptical Machine; 2 going forward and 2 going backwards!

Then they want me to stand on one of those short trampoline-like devices, on my BAD leg, without steading myself by touching another person or object, or letting my left leg touch my right leg or the floor; for one minute! I am not the most graceful of creatures under normal circumstances. Some have called me "accident-prone." Others, of a more malicious bent, have called me, "clumsy." Now, in my defense, I must tell you [as I have told the sadists] I have Achilles tendonopathy [the Doc's term, not mine. It means the tendon is in a state of decline] AND I have already had to have the ligaments in my Left ankle rebuilt because of repetitive injuries. Eventually, I'll probably have to have the same operation on the right one. How do I know this? Because when I'm attempting to stand on my right leg alone right now, my KNEE is more stable then my ankle!

They also added a new exercise on the "step-block." In addition to taking 30 steps forward and backwards, I now get to "dip" 30 times to the left side. All that bending! I'm also doing 30 squats now, OH JOY! They added 2 pound weights to all my leg lifts, too.

The result of all this? When I got up this morning every muscle in my thighs screamed, "You Bitch! You want us to MOVE?! Not without a LOT of pain, Honey!"

Today has been an experiment in discovering how little I could walk and still accomplish what I needed to do. I have also been mourning the loss of my Beloved Fluevogs! Yes, the Todas came yesterday. I put the left one on, by the Grace of the Shoe Goddess. And then re-discovered just exactly how high the arch of my foot really is! So, I'll be mailing them back tomorrow. But, although I must loose the boot... I'm exchanging them for these l'il darlin's. What do you think? Personally, I'm delighted! I haven't had a pair of RED high-heeled shoes since 1986. I think it's time.

And I've just struck up the friendliest little conversation with LeighAnn, the Chicago Store Manager. She has fam here in Texas. And she's just as sweet as she can be. Very helpful. I had some questions when I called to order the Todas. Then she sent a little note with my boots and some dum-dum suckers! When I called back today, she was even more helpful. Answered ALL my questions about relative widths and fits and designs. She is just a treasure trove of information about these gems of shoes.

When I loose another 30 pounds[ok,ok,maybe 40]...watch out! I'm ordering these sweet confections. I put up the pic of the black ones, because that's the color I'll order. You may need to look at the reds to see the details...those babies are scalloped at the top! ROWRR as LaP would say. Of course, I'll have to get a mid-calf length skirt that's slit to just above the knee on one side so they can peek out.

Maybe I'm not tooo bereft after all.



5 comments:

phlegmfatale said...

You're going to love this - the Minis are the most comfortable heels I've ever owned. I have 2 pair of the Mini Gorgeous, and they ARE gorgeous. They're very comfortable, extremely well-paded and very stable heels. Cute as all-git-out, too. LOVE love love the shit out of those boots. I want me some, too. Glorious!

Crazy Baby Lainy said...

First things first. LOVE the snazzy red shoes and I can see you with them on and you look glam, darling.

Now, put on those boots with that slit up the side of that skirt and Johnny won't let you out of the house, and I'll bet there will be some broken furniture.;)

Now, I hate to hear you're being tortured and all, but it's all for your benefit. Yeah, slap me now. Pretty soon you'll be able to do things us normal gals can't and Johnny will love that to. Not to mention you'll lose some of those pounds you have been talking about getting rid of.

Isn't it nice I think of your husbands comfort, just like with Flo's KSA.

Hugs and love.

DBA Dude said...

LaP is a very corrupting influence, she will not be happy until she has converted all you ladies into Fluevog obsessives :)

HollyB said...

Dude,
All it took was that first order and I am an acolyte in the Church of Fluevog.
I was teetering on the edge after just cruising through the website. I fell into the abyss once I called Chicago and heard a TX accent.
Don't bother with an intervention. I don't WANT to be saved.

phlegmfatale said...

I'm doing the Lord's work, dba dude-- I'm saving their assets, one sole at a time.

Hols - you done been saved, baby!