Monday, April 23, 2007

Closure

In January, someone said "Goodbye" to me. The manner in which this was done did not give me a chance to return the "Goodbye" in kind. In the intervening months, I have tried given this friendship another chance. But Saturday, I was again shown the door in an abrupt manner.
I have given this matter a great deal of thought during the intervening months. Since I have been instructed to loose her contact information of all sorts I knew the only way I could have closure was to write a blog to say my "Goodbye". What to say? , that was the issue.

At first, because my feelings were hurt, I was tempted to spew all kinds of nasty, vile, evil, hateful insults and slurs. I was just gonna rip her a new one; hang all her dirty laundry out here on the Internet clothesline and let everybody who surfed by take a gander. Then sanity returned. And for a while apathy, or ennui, set in. "Just let it go, " I told my self. "Let sleeping dogs lie." But I need closure. I need to say farewell. And I mean Fare Well.
So, here it comes:
For the times when I desperately need your presence, and you came without a second's hesitation or thought for what you needed to be doing other than rescuing me, or supporting me in a time over almost overwhelming need, Thank you.

For the times of shared laughter and shared sorrow, Thank you.

For all the shared meals, especially the time we had to speed away from Beto's, Thank you.

For the times when you called and I showed up, you're welcome.

And now, I can let go. I can let go of the negativity, and the anger I've been holding onto.
I can let go of the distrust and the disgust.
I can honestly say, Fare Well.

9 comments:

lainy said...

You win the award for being a big girl. You thought it over before you reacted and what a wonderful world we would live in if everyone did this.

Sorry for your loss. Happy for your closure.

SpeakerTweaker said...

That was nicely done, Holly.

Nicely done, indeed.

I admire that.



tweaker

phlegmfatale said...

Holly babe: you're a class act.

Flo said...

I know what an effort it was--to give it another shot after the way you were treated, and to still be gracious at the end. You are a better person than I.

Anonymous said...

""Just let it go, " I told my self. "Let sleeping dogs lie.""

3 mo.s later, u still have not let it go.

lainy, u sure about that?

lainy said...

Anonymous- I'm sure. Is there a problem with that? If so, why?

HollyB said...

Lainy, read today's post.

Cait said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
HollyB said...

This is a comment I deleted on 5-2-07 at 2:30 am. I don't normally hold with censorship. I think it's a slippery slope that none best chance, lest they wind up rollin' around in the muck at the bottom of the hill.
However, this comment had a paragraph that I found extremely objectionable. It was directed at a Gentle Reader of my blog. I don't tolerate rudeness by one guest in my home towards another guest, and I won't tolerate it here, either.
So I deleted the entire comment, copied it to word pad, deleted the offensive paragraph and have pasted the rest of the comment, in its entirety, with no other changes, here.


Thank you for holding my hand when my Mother died. You came rickety-tick. Thank you for being there 24/7 when my Soldier spent 18 months in Iraq doing his Army thing. Thank you for road trips, margarita's, and fleeing from the scene of our last g'damn crime.

Anger? You bet. I trusted you. Digust and distrust? Look to your ownself, Holly. I believed in you and you let me down. I'll absolutely be more selective - if and when I consider sharing a confidence with another woman.

You made up your mind- during our converation back in late March - that our relationship was over. It was a done deal. You were a true Southern Gentlewoman when we spoke in late April. Thanks for speaking with me. Your civility and honesty was refreshing.

As you did, in this blog, I wish you well. Too many good times to wish you otherwise. Hope you've come to terms with your mother. We've cut all ties with our son.

Hope you have the courage to post this entry. Wishing YOU the best, Hollyb. My best to Johnny - he never judged.

"Oh what a time it was/ It was/ A time of innocence/A time of confidences/Preserve your memories/It's all that's left you.

Cait