Sunday, June 04, 2006

Supper at Ranchman's Cafe

Ranchman's AKA The Ponder Steakhouse, is in Ponder, TX. The current owners and some others are petitioning the City Council to make "Ponder, TX - Just THINK about it" the official motto.
Anyway, the Dearly Beloved introduced me to this quaint eatery established in 1948. To my way of thinking they have the best steaks I've ever eaten. They also have Fried Green Tomatoes in season. I love fried green tomatoes.
So, there we were last night. We'd invited some of my kin to join us. They'd never been there and since they'd introduced us to a great Mexican place in Foat Wuth, we wanted to introduce them to Ranchman's. We always have a great time with this couple. They are witty, bright, down-to-earth folks, and the four of us just have a ball.
The XX half of the couple, whom I shall call Gal, was telling us about a recent business trip she had taken to an Eastern Seaboard state. The reason for my deliberate vagueness will become clear as the story progresses. I couldn't make this up. This sort of bizarreness has to be true.
Her company is expanding its operations into this Eastern state and she was there to train new contractors. Some of the contractors are state employees of the LEO flavor. And here's where the story takes a detour off the straight and narrow path.

Warning: swallow anything you don't want spewed on your computer screen.

She starts her lecture and while she's looking around the room, making eye contact, checking that all the guys are keeping up, she notices this one guy, twisting and untwisting the top of his Gatorade bottle. The he raises it to his mouth but jerks it at the last second, lowers it and retwists the top. And cusses.

Then he starts repeating everything she says, but tacks on a $hit, or d@m, or F=== on the end of every phrase. And he is he's shaking his head to one side, and jerking one shoulder, and winking one eye.
So Gal starts adjusting her body orientation as she walks up and down the center aisle so she doesn't have to look at him, although she can still hear him. However, she can now make better eye contact with his Supervisor.
The Supervisor is giving her a small wink, and a slight smile when she makes eye contact with him, so she thinks he's communicting to her that she's doing a good job. That she's doing the right thing.
Any good instructor knows that after 1.5 hours a class need a break. Gal knew SHE did. She desperately needed a break from the LEO and his Supervisor. Gal needed a cigarette and time to chat with her co-instructor. What she got instead was cussing LEO, whom she now discovers has umpteen jillion questions, AND a stutter!!!
Gal snapped later that day to the fact that the cussing, stuttering LEO had Tourette's syndrome. And the Supervisor? The one she thought was winking and encouraging her? Unhuh! He not only failed to warn her about his guy with Tourette's, he himself has a nervous tic that causes his wink and lopsided grin/smile.
I could NOT make this stuff up. I swear on the heads of my much loved offsping, this is true.


G Bro said...

I need a TLATAD (3-letter acronym thesaurus and dictionary) for some of your posts. What is a LEO?

HollyB said...

Law Enforcement Officer

LawDog said...


Why, Ms. Holly, there you are.