Monday, August 06, 2007

On the Road, Again

Yeppers, I leave for Killeen tomorrow afternoon. I'll be there 'til Friday. Then Mom and I will be heading out for Canyon Lake, again. I'll blog from the Killeen, but since I don't have a laptop and they don't have a computer lounge at the resort...I won't blog from Saturday. the 11th until Thursday the 16th.
If I'm not too tired when I get home, I'll blog that night.
At this moment, I'm too bummed over my dislocated Collarbone to blog. That was my freak accident for July. I am now the Official Queen of Freak Accidents.
So, talk amongst yourselves.


g bro said...

"Queen of Freak Accidents"!

So without one how-de-doo or a peek at the data, you think you are the queen.
;-) Well, I hope you're wrong. Yes, I know about the disk damage inflicted when you were leaving a cast party SOBER. The finger snaps with the dog leashes. The collarbone dislocation. And a few other fuzzy memories come to mind.
But you do still remember:

1. The "run over by a car when going to vote for McGovern"? 6 weeks in traction and weeks on crutches. Yes, it was a sign from God that a better man than me needed to protect that woman, but 22 years later I married her anyway.

2. Then there was the "rebreak the knee stepping in a hole when moving to Sherman." Another sign from GOd not to leave town with Randall either.

3. Then there was the argument with her mom at the top of the stairs that resulted in casts, screws, erector set pieces sticking out of her flesh.

4. Then there was "badly sprained ankle stepping off a bus" that took ages to heal.

5. The spiral fracture of the humerus while doing yoga (!). The doctor sets it, then after 6 weeks decides to repair it surgically. He comes out of surgery and tells me, "The surgery looked fine, but her elbow looked like shit. I cleaned it up pretty well, though."

6. The degenerative disk condition that wound up by fusing L4-L6. And the attendant pain and medication issues that followed:
Doctor: "when you take this muscle relaxant, do you ever see in black and white?
Herself: "Yes, doctor!"
GBro: "WHAATTTT?!?!?"

7. The purse-snatch and fall in Amsterdam resulting a trip to emergency, a nearly detached eyebrow, a detached septum, symmetric black eyes, cheek bruises, and chin bruises. She wrapped her head up with a scarf and finished the trip looking like a gypsy woman with an Merle Norman addiction.

8. The "park the car upside down against a tree", cracking her sternum.

9. The bump into the corner of the porch doghouse, yielding a gouge closed at the ER but later requiring day surgery to remove detritus left behind.

That's all I got for now. But thanks to you, she doesn't push a mower in high grass or walk big dogs on leashes.

Wow, that was cathartic!

Later, G ;-)

lainy, aka Crazy Baby said...

Have fun and be safe. Will miss you. And, for goodness sakes watch what you're doing! NO more accident's!

Flo said...

Hmmm, Gbro, we may need to have a run off. I recall quite a few of Holly's injuries, and I haven't know her nearly as long as you.

Perhaps the two of them are twins?

SpeakerTweaker said...

Well, darnit! If I'da known you were heading to Canyon Lake for some time spent, I'd have gladly arranged some range time!

However, I get the impression that you won't be throwing any lead off a tweaked clavicle. Bummer.

Hit the email if I'm wrong!


g bro said...


They may be twins. I thought I introduced them 36 years ago, but they could have been fooling me. And legend has it, fooling with twins is a man's fantasy.
(Pardon me - I'm just about to fall asleep on my face.)

HollyB said...

Tweaker, thanks SOOOO much for your kind offer. Now that I know it's a possibility...You will be getting an email from me prior to the NEXT trip. Oh and can you handle a "gaggle of wommin" next August? Flo, LaPhlegm, a Sistah from the Pac NW who Elk hunts and I are going to Canyon Lake for a week and an afternoon at the Range sound like fun for at least 3 of the four of us. I KNOW 2 of the 4 of us LOVE us some 1911-A1s, and you know I'm a BHP lover, too... we should have a powder burning good time.

GBro and Flo...
There's no need to fight. I AM the undisputed Queen. I am SO the Queen that my Freak Accidents go all the way back to childhood making me first a Princess, then a Queen. In addition to the accidents G already listed...
Let's see: there was the dislocated elbow from being thrown over my big bro's shoulder [although I DID have him in a choke hold at the time]; the fork in the right eye from pretending to be in a prison food riot; the umpteen sprained ankles from doing things like ... walking across the front yard, thus necessitating a rebuild of the L ankle ligaments @ 45.
How about the motorcycle wreck where I went flying over the handlebars and landed on the hood of a Jetta with my UNPROTECTED head a bare inch from the windshield? Just another instance ofex #2 trying to end our marriage w/o a divorce. The hematomas on my thighs and shins lasted for over a month. I stills have the pics!
Or how about the scar on my right knee cap from laying down a people-powered bike while taking a corner too fast? Or the scar on my left calf from getting tangled in Kat's barbed wire fence? Or the scar on my left forearm? That one was from having a blood clot removed? It had formed on the back of my hand when an IV infiltrated in February. By June it was 4" up my forearm. That's pretty freaky, nu?
And that wrenched knee from sliding down that handrail in Durham. If I just hadn't had on thos darn bellbottoms! That knee has arthritis 3 synvisc injections in it last year, with a 4 inch needle! Ever had a 4" needle jammed into your knee? That's positively JOYFUL!
And then there was snapping my L Achilles tendon while leaning into my truck cab. Who the hell does that? I was standing on the curb and leaned into the cab of my Ranger! The other 3 patients in Doc B's that week w/ torn Achille's were young, athletic, black men. I told Doc I was just rying to bring some Gender and Racial diversity to his practice. He thanked me through his chuckles. At the same time he repaired the tendon...he fixed my "Trigger Thumb" on my right hand. it a problem with that joint at the base of the thumb. So I couldn't even use TWO crutches after my surgery.
OH, yeah, I almost forgot...the crack on the back of my skull where ex # 1 "accidently" slammed the hatchback down on my head! That headache lasted 4 days. And the mis-shapen pinky toes...from havin' been disjointed so many times.
The scar on my right triceps from reaching into the backseat when a stray Mastiff and my roomate's Lab had chew toys back there. Did you know it takes 8 staples to close a Bull Mastiff warning nip? But if the Nurse is a friend of many years standing she will let this really neat gel-like stuff soak the bite for about 30-45 minutes and numb it up REAL good so you don't have to have any shots around that tender flesh. THEN she can irrigate the heck out of it to clean all the slobber, dirt, and whatever out of it. THEN the doc will staple it. Course, when it de-hisses after the staples come still get a butt-ugly scar.
And that's all I can think of for now....

Flo said...

I give, I give already! Uncle uncle uncle!!

And what legend would that be, GBro?

SpeakerTweaker said...

It's a date. I'll bring out The Wifey and a couple of sexy Italians for the lead-flingin.

I look forward to it! Drop me a line!


Memphis Steve said...

Man, I got here just in time to miss you. It's 100 degrees here today. I'm guessing Killeen isn't exactly a picnic right now? Hope you're doing well.

g bro said...

Holy Cow! No doubt about it - you are the Queen! If all that had happened to my Mrs., I'd be a widower now. You're as tough as they come!

phlegmfatale said...

Wow, so you achieved "Official Queen of Freak Accidents" status even before the shock and the tumble of August? Impressive!