Monday, February 12, 2007

Monday Grumblings

Gray pretty much suits my mood today. The sky is gray and Mr. Sun doesn't want to come out and play for the next couple of days according to the weather shaman. I haven't been able to go topless for almost a week now and I get grumpy when that happens. Even lookin' thru the seed catalogs and dreamin' of bowls full of tomatoes and blackberries only cheers me up until my next peep out the window.

Why do so many idiots drive gray, silver, black or cars that otherwise blend into the road surface on a grey, overcast day without turning on their headlights for greater visibility?

And, just to round out the depression-fest, an informal poll: Show of hands; how many of y'all have a family member that you'd like to take out behind the woodshed, shoot and tell Gawd s/he died? Now, be Honest. It's my long-held theory that dang near every family has at least one. If enough of you answer, I'll apply for a government grant, throw a party and invite you all to my "Dysfuntional Family Coping Skills Study" . That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Rabbit said...

Gee, I was strongly considering taking everyone out and locking them in the shed Saturday evening. I was the only one not screeching at someone while we were all watching a DVD after I got home from work. I was half a Prozac away from becoming a quiet household again.

As it was, I figured for the sake of the carpets I'd just go to bed and close the door.


Ambulance Driver said...

Ask and ye shall receive, Holly. A pick-me-up post is on the way.

G Bro said...

Well, my sister-in-law. But she's been sober for 2 years, so it seems like such bad timing.

lainy said...

When's the party? I'm already there!
Also, does wanting more than one family member taken behind the woodshed count as extra points?

HollyB said...

Oh, Lainy, YES, you get extra points. I'll have to create a new category in my .gov study just for folks like you and me. After all, we're Geminis, we should get to take out at least two relatives based on THAT alone.
Now FLO, she's gonna be either a serial killer or a mass murderer if all of her personas want to "sanction" a different fam member. ROFLMAO.
"1/2 a Prozac away" now that's a keeper line if I ever heard one. I will be sure to give proper attribution when I use it.
timing, schiming, think of it as helping her with that step where she makes amends.

Flo said...

Criminy, between the weather and Hubby, I'm just now getting here to see you've started without me/us!

Half a prozac isn't enough to do any real damage, but I am not sharing my meds. And wouldn't you want someone sober so they know why you're taking them behind the woodshed?

Lovi. I choose Lovi to start with--she doesn't come here often, does she? Serial, not mass. Instant gratification doesn't work with this.

Then I choose...

Diamond Mair said...

Can I just take my family members behind the woodshed and ..................... "strongly encourage" a permanent attitude adjustment, or they forget I was ever born? I just don't want to deal with that whole 'karma' thing .................. ;-)

Lovi said...

mwwaaa?!? You're gonna take me out first Flo? Man...when did I pee in your Cheerios?
And just outta curiosity - which one of you is taking me out?!?!

Flo said...

Damn, busted.

Uh, you're clear, Lovi. I think I left the evil one back at AD's blog, something about starting IVs on chihuahuas.