Saturday, December 09, 2006

Helloooooo

Can you hear me? I'm about 200 miles from home today.
I left for points South Thursday morning to do a little family visiting. That's why you've had the same old, same old blog up since Wednesday night. Kinda boring for y'all when you stop in, but I've been B-U-S-Y, busy! I tell ya I got some fam that knows how to talk, and eat and shop!
Oh, and for those of you who read a certain PhlegmFatale...Mom and I stopped at the Estee Lauder counter at a "Major Dept. Store" y'day. Mom had tried a spritz of Beautiful, cause she is. I was walking my way around the counter, and the Sales Consultant was going into her spiel about how if I bought Pleasures I would get the blah,blah,blah. I had already seen the posters and pics every where of DearGwenyth selling Pleasures. I stopped my stroll, looked this Lady dead in the ey and said, "I wouldn't buy anything Gwenyth Paltrow was selling if it was on sale for a penny." And she and my Mom get this scary shocked expression on their faces. The Sales Lady recovers and asks, "Why not?" I reply, "Because she's an addlepated twit who thinks Americans are ignorant,boring conversationalists. Then, when she starts taking criticism for saying this to a reporter, she says she was misquoted in a Portugese paper and needs to practice her Spanish. Which wouldn't do her much good since they speak Portugese in Portugal! Anyway, She's an ungratful, pampered, ninny who saddled her baby with a name sure to get her teased on any school playground in any country on the face of the planet." The sales Lady doesn't miss a beat. "Well, she only sells Pleasures for Lauder, you were looking at Beautiful, right?" I can't help myself. I start laughing and compliment the Lady on how good her marketing skills are.

Diamond Mair, Happy Belated B'day!!! Welcome to the Red Hat Club. We can have virtual Meetings in Google Chat! As soon as I get home, I'll either answer your invite if you sent me one, or send you one. Hope you had a SUPER HOORAH kinda day.

GBro, yeppers I remember those conversations. If we'd had Chat and computers we could've had 4-ways with you, Dave, Doris and me! Guess we were just born too soon!

Flo- of course Sistahs get a discount on Rationalizations! When have I EVER charged you for anything? After all, you're gonna keep me out of the "Home" my kids are gonna try to stick me in, right?

Well, since I'm outta town, and outta ideas, I'm outta here.

11 comments:

G Bro said...

You obviously spoke with Southern lady politeness. Try a stern voice with an angry glower. Trust me, the sales lady will not not have a clever comeback.
Which makes me think of two sides of the same coin: some of my coworkers are disappointed when I don't go off as much in BS meetings anymore. OTOH, my supervisor told me that he hadn't received as many complaints about my behavior this year. Sometimes I think there really is a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

Flo said...

Oh dear, gbro, it's a good thing Holly has provided a way for you to continue to go off. I feel for your co-workers because we are definitely enjoying your very amusing comments here.

Yes, happy belated Bday, Diamond Mair. Look forward to "meeting" you.

G Bro said...

Thanks, Flo. I just got huffy about religion and war over on your blog, so you may tell me to stick to Holly's house from now on! ;-)

phlegmfatale said...

You? Outta ideas? I DOUBT that!
It's so seriously overdue - I can't believe I never did it before - but I've squoze you into my blog roll, honey. I think I never noticed I hadn't added you because I've always jumped over here from your comments on MY blog. So, seriously, I love ya, and it was merely an oversight that I never did it before. Have a safe trip home and we'll blog at ya when you get back.

diamond_mair@yahoo.com said...

Goddess & Flo, thank you both for your birthday wishes - it kinda blew, actually - will catch y'all up on it when the Goddess returns to OlympusNorth ................ :;)
Semper Fi'
Diamond Mair

Rabbit said...

Oh geez, don't get me wound up on Estee Lauder. My ex made close, close friends with one of their managers at Dillards and usually spent well over $400/month at the counter... back in the 80's and 90's! I never saw the likes of 'free gifts' cluttering up the house.


Be careful out there on the road, y'all.

Regards,
Rabbit.

Flo said...

You're welcome at my house any time, Gbro. I'm glad I can also provide a place for you to go off. Let me know what else you'd like to get huffy about and I'll see what I can do!

Guess you didn't notice my perfume when you visited, Holly, but holy cow, I don't even buy $400 of Estee Lauder a year, let alone a month. I'm afraid I'd be an "ex," too!

HollyB said...

$400/month?!!! Ye Gods and little Fishies! As a certain LawDog would say. Rabbit, you have my most sincer sympathy. I doubt if I spent that much in a year either, even when I was a DEDICATED Estee lauder user.
What on earth did she BUY? How can ONE woman buy that much stuff and use it EVERY month? Month after MONTH? It boggles!!!

Rabbit said...

Dunno exactly what she bought, but she was always an easy touch for the 'free gift' stuff. When I finally sucked it up and had had enough, there were bags of the stuff, untouched, stacked to the ceiling in the guest bedroom.

Hell, even when we socialized with that woman and her boyfriend du jour I got stuck paying the check.

Bitter? Not me. Screw the cheese, let me out of the trap.

Regards,
Rabbit.

tony said...

"addlepated twit" = my new catchphrase for idiots!

Thanks for that.

phlegmfatale said...

OK - I'm finally making the rounds and catching up a little bit..

The shopping story is HILARIOUS - and I love the spikiness of that salesgirl for thinking of the good comeback - clever! You're making Google Chat sessions sound so much fun - I wanna come sometime!