Tuesday, October 31, 2006

My Sistah Flo

In honor of Halloween I thought I'd try writing in Orange today. How does it look?

My Sistah of the Heart, Flo, the Floozie, a frequent commenter, has her own Blog now. And if I knew how to do links...which I don't, I tried following the instructions and nothing happened. So I'll post her link here in a sec. I am soooo technologically challenged. Do you feel my shame? Anyhoo, you can find her most excellent blog at: http:Flying-Flos-Forum.blogspot.com the other day she posted a blog titled "Lady and the tramp?" and it was about all of her nicknames. She mentioned me several times and said that I would probably wind up thinking that the blog was about ME. Well, DUH! Big Red Truck about to run over you! There are 8 paragraphs in that blog. I am mentioned in 4 of them, more than one time in most cases! And she didn't even list ALL the nicknames I've hung on her!

Besides, Our Sistah Cait, the Queen of Freakin' Everything may think the World revolves around her, but as the Bi+c# Goddess, I control the Universe, therefore, the blog had to be about me.

Now, back to Floozie and the above mention blog and what she left out. She IS a Lyin' Bitch. And I say that with all due affection. And she knows that. She is extremely good at lyin' . Not telling falsehoods, but the OTHER kind of lyin'. The kind of lyin' I'm referring to is the kind where you are not completely forthcoming with all the facts. Let me give you a 'for instance'.

Summer of 2005. I'm turning 50. I had made up my mind that this was not a cause for depression and sadness, NO, NO, this was a cause for CELEBRATION! I wanted a big PARTY!
But it wouldn't be the same without my Sistah's there. Cait had told me that some old friends from back in the day when her husband had been stationed in Germany were in town that weekend and there was just no way she could make it. Flo told me that with her husband in Iraq, she couldn't leave her kids alone and her Mom and Sis were both busy that weekend and couldn't watch them, so she was gonna be a "no-show" as well. I'm pretty bummed, but I'll deal. I'm a big girl, after all. There will be lots of friends and Fam there. I'm not sure exactly who, b/c I wanted some part of it to be a surprise.

So the day of the Party rolls around. I go get my nails done. On the way home I decide to call Cait. I get her voice mail. I leave a message, telling her I'll miss her tonight and I hope she's out having fun with whoever. Then I call Flo. No answer at home, so I try her cell. She and I chat for about 10 minutes. She tell me she's out runnin' errands and I tell her I've just gotten my nails done and about the hat I'm gonna wear tonight and how much I wish she could have made it and she tells me the same and on and on we go. What I don't know is that she's bustin' a gut trying not to laugh! She's sittin next to Cait! In Cait's car! Driving down the highway to...you guessed it! My Party! She sounded so sincere, so regretful. That Lyin' Bitch! And I bought it, Hook, Line and Sinker!
I get to the party. I go around the room and greet everybody and give them hugs and thank them for coming. And my daughter and son are standing over by the door to the patio, motioning me over. So I go over to hug them, but they won't move away from the door. Why are they being such dweebs? After I've hugged and kissed both of them I turn arounbd and they call out, "MOOOOM!", and open the doors just as I turn around, they say, "Aren't you going to greet ALL your guests?" and there stand Cait and Flo with their arms open and big grins on their faces!
Well, what could I do but laugh and cry at the same time? Flo had driven from MO to Ark on Friday, and then she and Cait got up and the crack of dawn on Saturday and driven down from Ark. just for my party! What a pair of Sistahs!!! That is Love for ya'.

Flo forgot to tell y'all her official title that goes along with the name St. Flo. She is Her Holiness.
And lest I forget her, AS IF, she gave me a glow-in-the dark wind-up Angel. Her wing flap up and down when she's wound up. She sits on top of my computer monitor.
Thanks Floozie.


cait said...

Ahhh...a wonderful time was had by all. I have a photo of the three of us - Hollyb in her Red Hat - on my desk at work. Just lookin' at the three of us - obviously havin' our usual tres fab time whenever we're in the same room - makes the worst work day at my j-o-b better.

Missin' RazzmatAZ though - see her in '08!

G Bro said...

Oh, sure, big ups to the Sisterhood! Don't say anything about the man of your house helping to organize the affair. And MY excuse was weak, but at least I called from the runway at the airport (for dramatic effect, no doubt).

HollyB said...

Excuse me, G-
was the blog titled "J, my Dearly Beloved"? No! Was it titled, "My Dear Friend g bro who called from the runway at the airport b/c his job is more important than MY BIRTHDAY"? NO!
It was titled "My Sistah Flo".
If I ever decide to violate J's privacy by writing a blog about him, then I'll include that detail and more.
And if I decide to write a blog about you, b/c you wrote one about me, I'll send you an email first! That way you can get all your denials and rationalizations lined up.

Flo said...

I did NOT lie! I COULDN'T leave the kids home alone for the weekend, and I'm sure I just said Mom and Lovi were busy--not what they were busy doing--watching the kids!

Just as I am also sure I said I was driving around, getting stuff done--like getting to the party. And I DID wish I could be there, I wished so hard that I actually made it! No lies there, either!!

But whoever's version you want to believe, it was well worth the time spent with my sisters.


G Bro said...


That's the fire I like to see!! ("rationalizations and denials" hmmmph mumble grumble grumble ...)

G Bro

phlegmfatale said...

awww, that's so sweet - nothing in the world compares to true friends and sisters, eh?