Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I Love Kraft Foods

I Hate Kraft Foods.

Can you say "Ambivalent"?

I was in the grocery store last week, and I happened to be passing one of those refrigerated cases that stands in the middle of the aisle that's at the end of the main aisles. Down by the Dairy cases. And down there was the Kraft Rep talking to the Dairy Guy for Kroger. He's waving around this tub of stuff and talking about how great it is. Never one to be shy about about interjecting myself into someone else's public conversation, I asked, "How good is what?"
So the Rep shows me what he's holding. It's a three pound tub of ready-to-eat Cheesecake filling. Now, I instantly think I've either found Dessert Nirvana or the Devil's Own Torment. Either way, I'm a goner. I've GOT to have some. I do manage to exercise a modicum of self-control and limit my purchase to one tub of this concoction.

The Dearly Beloved had requested a Key Lime Pie. Since he had recently sustained an injury, I was in a mood to indulge his whims, and in a weak moment, agreed to make one.

Now, I am an excellent cook. But I am not now, nor have I ever claimed to be a baker. Oh, I can fry pies, that's not baking, though. I come from a long line of excellent bakers, and I am intimidated at the prospect of trying to live up to their legacy. Don't wanna, Ain't gonna, Can't make me! So there!

But I promised him a Key Freakin' Lime Pie, so I gotta figure out how to make one. With a crust made from Shortbread cookies, no less! That turned out to be the easy part. Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook has every pie crust recipe you could ever want to make. Just so you know.
I pulled out every other cookbook I have, not a Key Lime Pie recipe in the lot. There was a recipe for a plain old Lime pie, and I figured I could substitute Key Limes for limes and do OK. So I go to the store to get the ingredients, and what should fall into my lap, so to speak, but Kraft Ready to Eat Cheesecake Filling.

I come home, make the pie crust, let it set up and then I put about 1/2 the tub of Cheesecake in a mixing bowl, put a package of sugar-free lime jello on it and mix that up well.
Then I add an equal amount {to the Cheesecake filling}of Sugar-free Cool Whip and mix that in well. Then I add about 6-8 Tbsp of Key Lime Juice and mix well. All this mixing was done with a wooden spoon, NOT an electric mixer. I wanted to mix it, not liquify it.
And this was perfect. So I spooned it into the crust, covered it with "Press and Seal" and put it in the Fridgeadator overnight. The Dearly Beloved and his older Son pronounced it DEElicious on Monday.

My next concoction using this Kraft Product will utilize Double Stuff Oreos and Chocolate Syrup. Yum-Yum, good stuff for my tum.

12 comments:

Rabbit said...

Try this one on them the next time you want to experiment:

1 tub Cool Whip
2 small cartons of yogurt with fruit- blackberry, cherry, strawberry, whatever.
1 Oreo or graham cracker piecrust, pre-packaged.

Mix the Cool Whip and the yogurt in a bowl. Spoon the whole mess into the pie shell. Refrigerate (or better yet, freeze it) several hours.
Serve. Eat. Enjoy.

Sure beats slaving in the kitchen. Next I'll pass along the cheatin' cobbler recipie.

Regards,
Rabbit.

HollyB said...

Thanks for the recipe, Rabbit. Now this Cobbler of which you speak...would that be the kind with pastry crust, the kind Goddess and nature intended or the kind with cakey type crust?

Flo said...

I'll have to try the yogurt trick (after the cheesecake, of course!). I used to mix the cool whip with a can of cherry pie filling and pour it in a graham cracker crust.

Don't make us wait long for the cobbler recipe!

Anonymous said...

My recipe is

1 tub coolwhip
1 flavoring (either lemonade, limeade, whatever)
1 can Eagle Brand condensed milk.

This generally fills two Keebler Graham pieshells.

Chill (or freeze), then serve.

cait said...

My Mom had a cheater's cobbler recipe that I'm happy to share with Rabbit and the gang. Looking forward to Rabbit's recipe :-)

Three LARGE cans of your favorite fruit in HEAVY syrup - the light stuff won't do.

1 box of either White or Yellow cake mix - your choice

1/2 - 1 stick soft BUTTER (accept no substitutes!)
Cinnamon
Sugar

Pre-heat oven to 350
Pour fruit into 9 x 13 pan
Sprinkle cake mix on top, break up any large lumps, cover fruit completely. For thin-ish top "crust" sprinkle lightly, for a more substantial crust use pretty much the whole box.

Dot cake mix with butter
Sprinkle liberally with cinnamon and sugar. Bake til "crust" is brown and juice is bubbling. Serve soonest.

Rabbit said...

Cait, that's pretty much my 'cheatin' cobbler' recipie. I use a big whoppin' can of crushed pineapple and a can of cherry pie filling, though. Everything else is the same.

If you don't like/want cherries, use canned blackberry pie filling, as it's supposed to be, right? Peaches work too, as does apple pie filling.

mmmm...blackberries....


Regards,
Rabbit.

HollyB said...

PawPaw, yeah, that recipe's an oldie, but goodie. I think I first put it in my cookbook in 1977. I was still ORIGINALLY skinny and on my 1st marriage back then! LOL!

Cait and Rabbit: that recipe sounds yummy but I hate to be the one to tell you this, and Cait you Know I LOVED MissT, but what y'all describe is a CAKE, not cobbler.
They may call it Cobbler on the Northern side of the Mason-Dixon line but down here in TEXAS, a Cobbler requires Pastry crust, i.e. pie crust dough rolled out to fit the size of the pan your cooking your cobbler....never mind I need a blog topic for Thursday and this will be it.

cait said...

Rabbit - pay no attention to Hollyb's last comment and see rebuttal on her Thursday blog. Besides that, Rabbit, WE know what's good regardless of what it's called.

And, what's that crack about down there in TEXAS - rubbing salt in my wounds or what? And, Miss T's recipe came from DENTON long time a'fore you hit the planet runnin' at mach 12 with yo' hair on fire LOLOLOL...don't you go gettin' prissy with me, Missy (gigglin' and missin' you)

Rabbit said...

(cough) Last I looked at a map, I was further south than you, Holly. :D

Yeah, I know it's not an honest to gawd cobbler, but for feedin' a hungry mass o' kin on short notice, it doesn't generate many complaints, especially when you put out a pitcher of cold heavy cream with it.

Both my grandmothers made cobbler the way you describe today, with incredible golden crusts. SWMBO makes an almost identical cobbler to theirs, and yours, but somehow it's just not the same.

Best,
Rabbit.

HollyB said...

Was I too hard on y'all?
There are few foods I get as passionate about as Cobbler.
Sorry if I hurt any feelings. I was in a "MOOD" this am. My back hurt and I'm just that way when it comes to Cobbler and Guacamole. But that's another blog.

Anonymous said...

http://www.accidentalhedonist.com/index.php/2004/10/15/kraft_foods_vs_satan

Anonymous said...

http://www.accidentalhedonist.com/index.php/2004
/10/15/kraft_foods_vs_satan