How I Dealt with a Lying Car Salesman

Okey Doke. This is gonna be a fun read. So, do NOT take any big sips of liquid refreshment while reading. I will not be held responsible for damage to keyboards or 'puter screens from spewing. [end disclaimer]

Back in mid-August I was in Killeen visiting my Mom. On the way to her house is a used car lot. On this lot sat a beautiful mint green convertible. Since I was car shopping last week, I stopped to look at it. I went in with the attitude that it probably was either overpriced or had too many miles. Turns out I was correct on BOTH points! Hey, what can I say, I'm psycho, I mean, psychic !

I'm barely out of my rental car, and the lying salesman, I'll call him LS, to save my fingers from now on, comes out of the office. My young cousin, who had gone with me, tells him we are interested in the green convertible. He starts walking toward it with Her. As if she's gonna be the buyer. I can sort of understand this. She's 14, looks 16, maybe 17. Blonde, slender, very pretty, personality for weeks, bubbly. I correct his misassumption doublequick, informing him that I am the potential buyer, and that the car would be for ME.

When we get to the car, the keys aren't in it. While he returns to the office to retrieve the keys, I pop the hood. And I don't like what I see.
There's rust around the head bolts, grime and oil that wasn't clened away by the steam cleaning, some frayed wiring, just the general appearance of an engine that has NOT been well maintained. As I'm dropping the hood, he returns to the car.
I ask him how many miles this '03 Eclipse has on it. He turns the engine on and reads the digital odometer : 70K. {I was right, too many miles} But I need the haggle practice, so I decide to go through the motions. "Well", asks I, "how much you askin' for it?" And LS answers, "I think we've got it listed at $15,000"
H, with dismissive hand gesture: "Get outta town! How long have you had this car?"
LS: A week
H, looking over the top of her sun glasses: BULLSHITE !!!
LS, looking hurt: NO, we"ve had it about a week.
H, thinking this guy wants to insult my intelligence and LIE to me, I just naturally have to jack with him and waste his time. pointins to the corner of the lot : I was here in mid-August, and I saw it parked right over there.
My cousin's is staring at me, like I have just come down from The Mount. She is in AWE.
LS, stammering: well, er, um, I meant, we've had it parked here in this spot for a week.
H, looking dubious: so how long have you REALLY had the car?
LS, quickly counting backwards to mid August in his head: about a month and a half.
H: um-hm. And you want 15K? [derisive Snort]
LS: Well what will you give?
H: let's take a look, shall we, Cousin? Look, there, look at that rust on the brake rotor, and there's a badly covered scratch, and there's a ding, and ther's another ding, and ther's another scratch, and another and there's a dent, and and "
I went all the way around the car pointing at ALL the flaws on the body, three of the four wheels had rust on the rotors, there were dings and scratches and small dents all over, and the drivers seat {brown} had a tear in the upholstry that had been badly mended with WHITE thread. My cousin is following me, using her acting skills, shaking her head, and clucking and pointing.
When I get back around to the LS, I lean against the rail, and ponder a bit. Then I look this arrogant, lying, insulting, hubristic little snot straight in the eye and offer him $7500 for this POS on wheels.

I'll give him this, he didn't take it personally. He said he'd have to check with his manager. SO the three of us return to the office and my cousin and I have a seat and LS fetches us a cold cup of water.
He presents my offer to his Mgr.
The counter offer he comes back with is:
LS: Well, my Mgr says we paid $10,900 for that car {which I KNOW is another lie} but we can sell it to you for $12,500.
H: Bye, have a nice weekend.

WHen my Cousin and I get out to the rental car, I tell her that once I saw the engine I knew I didn't want the car. But since I hadn't haggled in a while, I needed to practice. And then when he LIED to me, I really wanted to just waste his time. And I gave her a few pointers, like never, ever appear enthusiastic about a car, act mildly interested. Always low ball on your first offer so you have plenty of room to come up. Find every possible flaw when you inspect the car. Any flaw you can find to lower your offer.

Saturday, after I signed the loan papers on my Sebring, I drove over to the lot where LS works. I pull up in front of the office and a man walks out and says, "I'll buy it!" with a big grin on his face. Let's call him Ben. His name tag says he's a Sales Manager. But he's NOT the same sales manager that was there y'day.
H: You can't buy it. I just bought it. Is LS here?
Ben: No, actually, LS is at National Guard this weekend.
H: well, he tried to sell me that POS Eclipse y'day and I just wanted to show him what $12,5 REALLY buys.
Ben: Which Eclipse?
H: The green one, with 70K miles.
Ben: And you got THIS car for 12,5?
H with a big grin:Yeppers
Ben: What year is it:
H: an '04, and it only has 6700 miles, and it has no ding, or scratches, or dents, tears in the upholstery that have been mended with white thread.
Ben: Oh.
H: And I'll tell you somethin' else.
Ben: go ahead.
H: the salesman at Dodge Country didn't try to LIE to me !
Ben: What do you mean?
So I related my experience with LS and my decision to waste LS time.
H: SO you can tell LS that the next time he is tempted to lie to a potential buyer, he might want to remember me. I've already told 6 other people his name and about this lot. And they all live in this area. And 3 of the people I told are other car dealers. That does not exactly do your reputation any favors. It would behoove LS to tell the truth in the future.
Ben: Well, thank you for telling ME what he did. I will have a talk with him on Monday and caution him about that kind of behavior.
H: Well, I just thought someone in Management should know a salesman wasn't speading goodwill. Have a nice weekend.

And I drove off, Happy as a kid in a candy store.