Monday, May 29, 2006


Why are the handicapped restroom stalls the farthest from the door? Doesn't it make more sense that those folks need to have quicker, easier access to the facilities?
Is it just me, or is a program where family members read the last letters written by their deceased soldiers from Iraq, extremly morbid? And explotative?
Why do we lie to our pets? Why do we tell them how good they are, or how smart, or how beautiful? Or that we'll be back real soon when we know we'll be gone for hours or even a week or maybe longer? Why do we use "baby talk" to our pets?
Why do we order a cheeseburger, all the way, with double mayo, large fries, with cheese, and a diet Coke?
Why don't y'all write in some of your favorite conundrums in the comments. Don't be wankers like you were in the one on High School Mascots. I can't believe y'all are so ashamed of your Alma Maters that you won't tell us what they are!!!



G Bro said...

Ashamed of my Mascots?! Whatever is in that mint julep, darlin'?

Aldine Colts - two of my best friends were on that team: one died of AIDS and the other has been in and out of prison since High School. I seem to recall future Attorney General Alberto Gonzales was on that team also. You know, the one who thinks the Geneva Convention is a recommendation.

MacArthur Generals - Who ever heard of a team of generals winning anything? We didn't, that's for sure. I didn't know any of the Generals in particular. Eddie Schaumann was a lineman who dated Teresa Osborne, and she made my knees buckle. That's as close to the team as I got.

Lamar Redskins - Since you all are very PC, I quake to mention the name.

Rice Owls - If I were a mouse, I'd be scared to death. Best thing that happened in my stay there was the offensive halftime show by the Rice MOB that so incensed the losing Aggies they had to surround the exits in hopes of attacking the band. Okay, making fun of senior boots and a dead dog pushed a few over the edge. But we found out who the real mob was that day!

Houston Cougars - always liked the mascot, proud of the school's policy of admitting minority athletes. Listened to the 100-7 victory over Tulsa in 1968 in a radio in the little 1-room house in our back yard. Larry Gatlin scored the last touchdown on offense that day, so you know how far down the depth chart Coach Yeoman was reaching. Apparently, Coach also thought the Geneva Convention was just a recommendation. In basketball, Phi Slama Jama was its own mascot - I'll always love Clyde, Hakeem, Larry Micheaux, Alvin Franklin, Reid Gettys and Michael Young. They are my school team heartbreak (1983) to go along with broken Astro (1980 & 86)and Oiler (1979 & 80)dreams.

G Bro said...

"Is it just me, or is a program where family members read the last letters written by their deceased soldiers from Iraq, extremly morbid? And explotative?"

It depends. If it's Fox, it's "patriotic" (and "fair and balanced"). If it's CNN, it's the liberal media exploiting the deaths of those brave soldiers in an attempt to discredit our noble mission.

Pets: it's the golden rule. We treat them like we'd like to be treated.

"Why do we order a cheeseburger, all the way, with double mayo, large fries, with cheese, and a diet Coke?"

Simple. Diet Coke tastes better than regular Coke.

HollyB said...

Diet Coke does NOT taste better than regular Coke. Coke Zero is a very close second, but nothing really tastes better than REAL COKE!!!

Flo said...

{expletive} I had a lovely response going, when I pushed some key that must not have liked me, and it went poof.

So once again.....

I go off to get sunburned, abused, contused, abraded, and lacerated while pouring the walls for our house, when I come back to......however many posts there are since my last visit.

Yes, I also replied to the immigration post and was rather proud of it (if I do say so myself), except it was computer-jacked on the information superhighway and of course I don't remember a word I said. So I e-mailed about my HS mascot, and as long as it doesn't get eaten AGAIN, I will be happy to proclaim it in public. I am an O'Hara Celtic, my son has recently joined the ranks of alumni, and if she can "get by with a little help from my (her) friends," the daughter might also join us in a few years.

As for the restroom stalls, not being a designer or architect, I can't say this for sure, but I think they're designed mainly with wheelchairs in mind. Remembering how difficult it could be to maneuver a w/c when I was the driver (ok, so I'm not the most coordinated person), it's probably easier for them to have a straight shot back, rather than having to turn again into the stall after just entering the door. But I'm all for researching a better design, seeing as I may end up as a regular in the handicapped stall someday.

I don't know about the program or what types of letters are being read by grieving families, so I'll pass on that one.

I don't lie to my pets. BC IS "mama's wittle itty bitty kitty," Smokey is "a big ol' sweet ol' kitty cat," Tawny is a "fat kitty cat," PJ is "mama's baby girl," and Harley most definitely is "a mess."

I'll get back to you if I think of any of my own conundrum. In the meantime, a good margarita is better than diet or regular coke. So is a bottle of Baileys with a splash of coffee. So is a strawberry daiquiri. I'd even take a slushy A&W root beer!