As you can tell from the title of this post, I have a dilemma.
Through no conscious effort I find myself becoming The Most Powerful Woman in the Universe. I consider LawDog a friend. We agree on most important issues. However, with his plans for World Domination with his Legions of Flying Monkeys...you can see where this could lead to conflict, can't you?
At first, I thought my power was just a fluke. I'd be approaching a red light and wish it would turn green. Before I could decelerate, it'd be green. About 3 weeks ago, the Dearly Beloved and I had Kroger Private Selection Crab Cakes [our favorite mass market brand] and broiled scallops for dinner. The next week I was at Kroger. I had bought some chicken on sale, a roast at a GREAT price, and some pork ribs at a steal. As I was approaching the seafood aisle, I thought, "I wish those crab cakes were on sale, 'cause I sure would like to have them again soon." Now I knew, realistically, this was NOT gonna happen. Those crab cakes are NEVER on sale. I turn the corner and what's the first thing I see in the case? Kroger Priv. Select'n. Crab Cakes at 50 cents off a box! OK, fine!
Wednesday night, after our fine dinner at KFC in Vicksburg, I'm soakin' in a nice hot tub. I say to the Dearly Beloved, "I would KILL for a Jacuzzi right now." Flash forward to Thursday night, 9:20 . We're checkin' in to the Best Western in Augusta. We're a day earlier than the reservations DB made, so I'm asking the clerk if she has a smokin', ground floor room with a King bed. She looks at me with a sad face, "No,Ma'am. All our smoking rooms are on the 3rd floor and are two doubles." I return her sad face. "BUT, we have a Jacuzzi room on this floor and it's a smoking room. It has a King bed." "OOOOHHHH?" I draw it out in a lilting tone meant to express interest and a question all at the same time. She let us have the more expensive Jacuzzi room at the same rate we were going to pay for a room we would have had to take an elevator to get to!
I have but to wish for something and it is made manifest. So I repeat myself, I am becoming THE MOST POWERFUL WOMAN in the UNIVERSE. I don't think it will be necessary for LawDog and I to terminate our friendship when he begins to implement his World Domination plans. I believe we can peacefully coexist. I have no desire [at this time] to interfere with his plans, as I know them to be.