Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Show of Hands...

How many of y'all have had to take a "Field of Vision" test? Don't ya just HATE them?
I had my annual FoV today and while the technician was switchin' the eye patch from the right to the left eye and lettin' me rotate my neck and blink, a LOT I said, "I am SOOOO bloggin' about this." The tech laughed. She also was very encouraging all through the test. She would say, periodically, "you're doing great." And then when it was almost over, she'd give me a clue that I was almost finished. I wonder if she does that with everybody.
For the first half of the test, I'm sittin' chin on the chin rest, my forehead leanin' against the forehead strap, the lens in place, tryin' to focus on the little yellow light in the middle of the screen. I click every time I see a light. The problem is, my brain, about 1/2 way through the test starts screaming at me. "These are not REAL lights! These are FLOATERS!" Then of course I started to doubt what I was seein'. Next trick my brain pulled was telling me, "That lens is comin' closer, watch OUT, it's gonna brush your eyelashes!"
I'm tellin' y'all, it's like playin' some kind of surreal one-eyed video game.

BUT, with my superior problem solving skills, I short circuited those pesky panic messages my brain wanted to send me when it was the other eye's turn to take the test. I was mentally composing this blog and just clicked for the lights on auto-pilot. Hurray for multi-taskin'!

And I passed, PERFECTLY.

Next up was the vision test. I passed that, Still 20/20, so I don't need a new prescription. Phew, money not spent is money saved!
But then I got those yucky, yellow drops, not to dilate, but to make my optic nerve visible to the "Blue" light. Well, to check my Intra-Ocular pressure, anyway. You see, I'm a SUSPECT. Yeppers, time to fess up. I'm a Glaucoma Suspect. Having untreated Sleep Apnea all those years is what did it. Course using a CPAP now keeps me on the Suspect list. So I get it measured every six months. But it fell for the first 18 months after I started using the CPAP and has stabilized at an acceptable level.
However, the Doc says my Optic Nerves look "Funny". His word, not mine. I guess he learned that one in his Ophthalmology Residency Program. He says the years of the untreated Sleep Apnea caused some damage to the nerves and now he just wants to check them regularly so that if any MORE damage or deterioration occurs, we can address it as soon as possible. That's why I go in every six months and let him take a gander.
Only this time it was his Junior partner taking a look. And tellin me everything was A-OK. We chatted for a bit, and I said somethin' about bein glad I didn't need new glasses. And I was prattlin on about" ...with those progressive lenses, b/c I am not about to wear TRIFOCALS, not at my age, my GRANDFATHER wore them , but then he was in his 70's, and hey, I want to ask you a question. You don't think I look 'Matronly' do you? Now be honest..." And at this point one of the Nurses says, "Doc, Matronly means frumpy so be careful how you answer" And he assured me I did not look 'Matronly'.
Well, that made me so happy that I walked out to the appointment desk wishing everybody, even the other patients, a happy afternoon.
At the appointment desk, the clerk asked me if I wanted to see this Doc or the Doc I usually see at my next appointment. I told her that this Doc was nice, but I'd just as soon see the "Big Dawg" next time. Then we both laughed and I said, "He'd probably be horrified to know I'd just called him the 'Big Dawg' ." She laughed and said, "I call him the Big Kahuna." Then we had a nice long conversation about our dawgs. I promised to bring pics next visit.

The Nurse who warned the Doc about calling me "frumpy' said she was gonna come read the blog to see what I said... so I hope she enjoyed readin this as much as I enjoyed my visit. Truly, the staff there is ALWAYS a joy to deal with. They are cheerful and friendly and tolerate my outrageous behavior good naturedly. It may help that I'm under 70 and they don't have to read the forms to me or shout in my ear.


phlegmfatale said...

Or maybe it's just because you are a hoot to be around. I mean, anyone who wishes everyone in the waiting room a good day... What a peach!

I had that retinal scan done at my last visit, just to make sure I haven't damaged things with my torch ( I use a special lens protective eyewear, but still, you can't be too careful) and that amazed me. Now that puff of air they do? I HATE that - it always makes me jump and kinda go *eep!*

HollyB said...

Well, MY Doc uses the Latest technology. That blue light takes a pic while he's lookin' at my optic nerve and checkin' the intra-ocular pressure. So, there is no longer the "little puff of air" and the attendant squeek from yours truly.
There's is also a permanent record of my Optic Nerve in my file going back two years. If anything ever goes wrong, it may be nice to have those pics to refer to.

Flo said...

I am SO with you on the puff of air, Phlegm. I preferred the even older-fashioned way to the puff. But yeah, mine went to the latest technology, too. Thank goodness.